My love to moonlight caused this poem. It read:
5:18 in the afternoon
my sunshine,
let me be the wind that gently brushes your face
the melody that echoes through time and space.
let me be your light when the stars in heaven aren't so bright
to walk with you in path's so dimly lit.
your face is like the breaking of dawn
the very promise of a new day,
the dusk that soothes my worried mind
that gives me the best of good nights.
the face that made me glow everyday in our stay,
that makes me smile in every glance i make
the face that i want to see before retiring the day,
the very same to see the morning i awake.
i painted you in my memories,
with vivid colors that i made.
i will treasure you, today, tomorrow and the days to come,
framed with love and sealed by fate .
Early in the day, I made this in response,
For you, moonlight, 6:27 am
you're so far, yet so near.
you seemed to have brought with you
the joys left
in this solitary soul.
but mornings are like
sweet souvenirs.
i remember now
like strings gently swayed,
that your heart kissed mine
and stamped a mark
that glowed together
with the break of dawn
to remind me that
our love springs eternal.
a cycle unbroken
by time and distance
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Peek-throughs
A lot of things happened I should say. It has been a very, very long month that has mutated into years. I have waited for six months for the bar to come and another six months for the results. I have been incognito for a long time because the whole process almost sucked the marrow left in my life. I still didn't give up the flat I rented back in the university and I couldn't imagine the feeling when I return there next week to pack my books and my other belongings. The picture of the narrow pathway shadowed by plush acacia trees, the lonely walks there for months rain or shine, the silent houses I pass through, the patio of the nearby hotel where someone plays beautiful pieces on the piano every Friday nights. All of it that has become part of me, I never said goodbye to when I discreetly left.
The exam was truly a heartbreaker, not to mention a shatterer of health, sanity, and well-being in itself. I had ulcer because of stress and the pain caused by it still lingers up to now. I hope it would still be cured through medication. I am quite fearful of the visit to the doctor tomorrow.
Sometimes I am left with the thought. . what would I do next? I know it's a general feeling of most of those who took the bar but what delineates me from them would surely be the quality of support system I have. Loosely I would say, I have myself and the world. All the brunt I take as they come.
And then there was this transient love. A love grown out of peek-throughs. Peek-throughs through the heart. How fond it is to rekindle the experience and live through it day by day. It's one of the reasons I try to exist and live now.Would you believe?
The exam was truly a heartbreaker, not to mention a shatterer of health, sanity, and well-being in itself. I had ulcer because of stress and the pain caused by it still lingers up to now. I hope it would still be cured through medication. I am quite fearful of the visit to the doctor tomorrow.
Sometimes I am left with the thought. . what would I do next? I know it's a general feeling of most of those who took the bar but what delineates me from them would surely be the quality of support system I have. Loosely I would say, I have myself and the world. All the brunt I take as they come.
And then there was this transient love. A love grown out of peek-throughs. Peek-throughs through the heart. How fond it is to rekindle the experience and live through it day by day. It's one of the reasons I try to exist and live now.Would you believe?
Monday, September 15, 2008
Wake me up when September Ends
A pail of tears, now.
I remember you, thirty thousand fishes, drifting in a pond like fallen silver leaves catching the last rays of light in that morose afternoon.
Would there be bliss when September ends?
Thank you, Mom. My confidant, my comrade in battle.
I remember you, thirty thousand fishes, drifting in a pond like fallen silver leaves catching the last rays of light in that morose afternoon.
Would there be bliss when September ends?
Thank you, Mom. My confidant, my comrade in battle.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Post to Heaven
19th August 2008
Dear Lord,
The last time I wrote to you as far as I could remember was 8 years ago. I remember that I made the letter in one afternoon. I just came from the school empty-handed, troubled, and embattled. I had only 1,50o pesos in my hands and my tuition costs around 4,000 pesos. It was supposed to be my second semester, my first year in college. I had survived the past semester full of hope that the university would finally grant the subsidy I have requested. Unfortunately, it did not.
It was an afternoon. I am resolved to go back to the province to scour every possibility of getting additional money from whomever. I remember that I suggested then to You that my sister in Dagupan help me. I remember telling you that it seemed to me that it was the only possibility. But I came home just the same, empty-handed, troubled and embattled. I kept the letter, slipping it in between the pages of a dilapidated dictionary I left back in my Baguio apartment. It actually survived after so many years. My sister accidentally read it few years ago. She told me that she cried while reading it. It was also read by my little brother, Mark. He asked me later if he could do the same. I told him that yes he could write to You whenever he wants to tell You things he would rather keep to himself.
When I tell my friends now that You work in mysterious ways, I remember the things that happened after I wrote that letter.
The day after I arrived in the province, people from the Student assistance Department at the University surprisingly visited and did some interview. The head, Manang Pen Facunla offered assistance right away without any solicitation and told me to go back to Baguio. She would later be You, dear Lord, supporting me all the way until I graduated. She gave me a job, private scholarship. Without her, there seemed to be no silver lining.
As I look back, I wonder if that letter was not written at all. Would You have performed a miracle just the same? I recently bought a handy Bible. A friend reintroduced me to You. One of my favorite passages is Ephesians 3:20. It speaks a lot about what happened. You spoke that You will do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of; infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts or hope.
I am writing on a used paper. I hope You don't mind. I felt the conviction to write again to You about a plea coming from my heart. Few days from now, I will take the Bar exams. The greatest challenge so far and a key to what will I become years from now. Dear Lord, I wouldn't have reached this far without You lifting and carrying me everytime I falter down the road of life. You blessed and showered me your graces more than what I deserve. You gave me this flat with me effortlessly cashing out money. You gave me true friends who supported me up to the Bar review. You gave me a mother who specially sent me a smile from far away just to remind me that there are millions of reasons to pursue this dream and to take the challenge with a mighty heart.I couldn't ask for more.
Thank you Lord. while I continue to hurt You every now and then, please understand that I will always be your Son who always searched and yearned for You at the end of the day.
And while the days are closing in, I want to tell You that I will remember to walk the path You have opened and showed me.
The letter I once wrote was made yellowish by time, moisture has blotted the blue ink. But still it remains Lord and so is your unconditional love and my enduring faith.
Your son
Dear Lord,
The last time I wrote to you as far as I could remember was 8 years ago. I remember that I made the letter in one afternoon. I just came from the school empty-handed, troubled, and embattled. I had only 1,50o pesos in my hands and my tuition costs around 4,000 pesos. It was supposed to be my second semester, my first year in college. I had survived the past semester full of hope that the university would finally grant the subsidy I have requested. Unfortunately, it did not.
It was an afternoon. I am resolved to go back to the province to scour every possibility of getting additional money from whomever. I remember that I suggested then to You that my sister in Dagupan help me. I remember telling you that it seemed to me that it was the only possibility. But I came home just the same, empty-handed, troubled and embattled. I kept the letter, slipping it in between the pages of a dilapidated dictionary I left back in my Baguio apartment. It actually survived after so many years. My sister accidentally read it few years ago. She told me that she cried while reading it. It was also read by my little brother, Mark. He asked me later if he could do the same. I told him that yes he could write to You whenever he wants to tell You things he would rather keep to himself.
When I tell my friends now that You work in mysterious ways, I remember the things that happened after I wrote that letter.
The day after I arrived in the province, people from the Student assistance Department at the University surprisingly visited and did some interview. The head, Manang Pen Facunla offered assistance right away without any solicitation and told me to go back to Baguio. She would later be You, dear Lord, supporting me all the way until I graduated. She gave me a job, private scholarship. Without her, there seemed to be no silver lining.
As I look back, I wonder if that letter was not written at all. Would You have performed a miracle just the same? I recently bought a handy Bible. A friend reintroduced me to You. One of my favorite passages is Ephesians 3:20. It speaks a lot about what happened. You spoke that You will do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of; infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts or hope.
I am writing on a used paper. I hope You don't mind. I felt the conviction to write again to You about a plea coming from my heart. Few days from now, I will take the Bar exams. The greatest challenge so far and a key to what will I become years from now. Dear Lord, I wouldn't have reached this far without You lifting and carrying me everytime I falter down the road of life. You blessed and showered me your graces more than what I deserve. You gave me this flat with me effortlessly cashing out money. You gave me true friends who supported me up to the Bar review. You gave me a mother who specially sent me a smile from far away just to remind me that there are millions of reasons to pursue this dream and to take the challenge with a mighty heart.I couldn't ask for more.
Thank you Lord. while I continue to hurt You every now and then, please understand that I will always be your Son who always searched and yearned for You at the end of the day.
And while the days are closing in, I want to tell You that I will remember to walk the path You have opened and showed me.
The letter I once wrote was made yellowish by time, moisture has blotted the blue ink. But still it remains Lord and so is your unconditional love and my enduring faith.
Your son
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Everything Gone
I am just trying to fill up a white blank space right in front of me. There’s not much to tell you about my thoughts and my life right now. I am technically saturated right now with so much information in my head to the point that my brain had become a full-blown sui generis in a matter of months. With all the legalese, I hope not to tell anybody I come across tomorrow, a caveat, that I don’t mince words right now. All I think now is that there’s a storm yesterday and downpour tomorrow.
It is late, 20 minutes past 10 o’clock in the evening. I am tapping on the keyboard, still staring on the computer screen, the blank space slowly taking form. I am annoyed by the kid standing at my left side coaching his friend mouthing words I don’t understand. Their group had just left and I am alone now in the shop. Chairs empty, static computer screens, the breathe of the CPU is silence.
The inflation has been soaring wildly says the news. The President ignoring the latest survey showing that most of her constituents hate her, more than they hate the past two despots. Students are on the streets lately in protest of the rising costs of everything and the apparent misdeeds of the government. My sympathy is with them. I too, want to join street protests if I have the luxury to indulge. Sorry for the word. To me, time is diamond in these difficult times. Even the lowly mangangalakal would tell you that there is so much in the garbage right now and he won’t miss the chance and let others take the loot. Even the child at bombero would tell you that shining shoes for the indifferent passengers in jeepneys stopping along PhilSci is the heart of the matter. What do I mean by this? Well, it’s so simple the poor is chained with time, they could not do the clamor.
I had my chance to join street protests back in college. The one I joined which benefited me directly was the call for the abolishment of ROTC. Bleh. What is needed to spur up the enthusiasm of the people to flood the streets and barge into the gates of Malacanang to demand what is just I don’t know. Few and few people are joining rallies maybe because there won’t be any result anyway. And that is painfully true. Who would the poor people turn to in these times, where soup kitchen is so much an important event than, say, a rally. That the President and every politician in the country are demons being a factoid doesn’t anymore bring about constant harangues. People are sick and tired; and they still have work to do for them to end the day with eyes open, pulse beating.
Are the Filipino people too helpless? So I ask. Class D and E doesn’t require any such question anymore. Class B and C, not too much. But is it really a matter of socioeconomic classes, so I ask again. Filipino refers to every natural-born whether he belongs to any of such classes. But, where’s the unified Filipino spirit? Gone?
How could we pounce on the government if there’s no unity in our actions as a people? But who will lead us? There’s got to be a leader. Help me on this, but have you identified any? Where are leaders produced? Someone says in UP. The so-called pillar of leadership. But where are they? Someone says they joined forces with the government. Another one says they’re too busy attending to the centennial celebrations. My gawd! The First Quarter Storm days gone? Gone, gone, gone.
Everything gone. . .Please UP Bangon! Hindi ka lang pang UAAP!
My sanity, please be with me.
It is late, 20 minutes past 10 o’clock in the evening. I am tapping on the keyboard, still staring on the computer screen, the blank space slowly taking form. I am annoyed by the kid standing at my left side coaching his friend mouthing words I don’t understand. Their group had just left and I am alone now in the shop. Chairs empty, static computer screens, the breathe of the CPU is silence.
The inflation has been soaring wildly says the news. The President ignoring the latest survey showing that most of her constituents hate her, more than they hate the past two despots. Students are on the streets lately in protest of the rising costs of everything and the apparent misdeeds of the government. My sympathy is with them. I too, want to join street protests if I have the luxury to indulge. Sorry for the word. To me, time is diamond in these difficult times. Even the lowly mangangalakal would tell you that there is so much in the garbage right now and he won’t miss the chance and let others take the loot. Even the child at bombero would tell you that shining shoes for the indifferent passengers in jeepneys stopping along PhilSci is the heart of the matter. What do I mean by this? Well, it’s so simple the poor is chained with time, they could not do the clamor.
I had my chance to join street protests back in college. The one I joined which benefited me directly was the call for the abolishment of ROTC. Bleh. What is needed to spur up the enthusiasm of the people to flood the streets and barge into the gates of Malacanang to demand what is just I don’t know. Few and few people are joining rallies maybe because there won’t be any result anyway. And that is painfully true. Who would the poor people turn to in these times, where soup kitchen is so much an important event than, say, a rally. That the President and every politician in the country are demons being a factoid doesn’t anymore bring about constant harangues. People are sick and tired; and they still have work to do for them to end the day with eyes open, pulse beating.
Are the Filipino people too helpless? So I ask. Class D and E doesn’t require any such question anymore. Class B and C, not too much. But is it really a matter of socioeconomic classes, so I ask again. Filipino refers to every natural-born whether he belongs to any of such classes. But, where’s the unified Filipino spirit? Gone?
How could we pounce on the government if there’s no unity in our actions as a people? But who will lead us? There’s got to be a leader. Help me on this, but have you identified any? Where are leaders produced? Someone says in UP. The so-called pillar of leadership. But where are they? Someone says they joined forces with the government. Another one says they’re too busy attending to the centennial celebrations. My gawd! The First Quarter Storm days gone? Gone, gone, gone.
Everything gone. . .Please UP Bangon! Hindi ka lang pang UAAP!
My sanity, please be with me.
Forum for Filipino Bloggers
Ebloggers.ph, Forums for Filipino Bloggers
Ebloggers.ph, a blogger forum catering to the Filipino bloggers community has just become open for memberships on the 3rd day of July 2008. Everything about ebloggers.ph is designed especially for the fast-paced lifestyle of the Filipino blogger. A quick visit to the forum followed by an equally hassle free registration process gives every member a chance to enter a significant and highly-interactive yet comfortable world of Filipino web writing enthusiasts.
This fresh new forum by Mr. Joedel Sanvictores is the sanctuary of Filipino bloggers who aim to create and maintain networks within the Filipino blogger's community with zero difficulty. Not only can members easily link up and gain access to the blogs of other members of the forum, they may also publicize their own blogs or help in promoting the blogs of the other members. This makes endorsing the blogs a lot easier and even mutually favorable for all involved. Anyone within the forum is allowed to announce updates regarding his blog; aside from that, posts putting forward the latest entries and other news are constantly available to keep all members informed.
Another perk offered by joining the forum that would positively stir up the interest of countless bloggers is that ebloggers.ph contains several threads and topics focused exclusively on teaching bloggers how to earn money through their blogs. Opportunities are made available for members who wish to make money from blog entries such as film and music reviews and about other topics of interest.
Interested Filipino web users who have not yet tried blogging are also invited to join the forum. This forum provides blogging tutorials. Not only that, all members of the forum are free to impart useful tips and to share their knowledge on blogging to first timers.
--
http://JoedelSanvictores.com/ in Real Life!
Ebloggers.ph, a blogger forum catering to the Filipino bloggers community has just become open for memberships on the 3rd day of July 2008. Everything about ebloggers.ph is designed especially for the fast-paced lifestyle of the Filipino blogger. A quick visit to the forum followed by an equally hassle free registration process gives every member a chance to enter a significant and highly-interactive yet comfortable world of Filipino web writing enthusiasts.
This fresh new forum by Mr. Joedel Sanvictores is the sanctuary of Filipino bloggers who aim to create and maintain networks within the Filipino blogger's community with zero difficulty. Not only can members easily link up and gain access to the blogs of other members of the forum, they may also publicize their own blogs or help in promoting the blogs of the other members. This makes endorsing the blogs a lot easier and even mutually favorable for all involved. Anyone within the forum is allowed to announce updates regarding his blog; aside from that, posts putting forward the latest entries and other news are constantly available to keep all members informed.
Another perk offered by joining the forum that would positively stir up the interest of countless bloggers is that ebloggers.ph contains several threads and topics focused exclusively on teaching bloggers how to earn money through their blogs. Opportunities are made available for members who wish to make money from blog entries such as film and music reviews and about other topics of interest.
Interested Filipino web users who have not yet tried blogging are also invited to join the forum. This forum provides blogging tutorials. Not only that, all members of the forum are free to impart useful tips and to share their knowledge on blogging to first timers.
--
http://JoedelSanvictores.com/ in Real Life!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
To Slay the Dragon
Therapied. If there's such a word. I'm back determined to slay the dragon. Life's too short for me to make it shorter.
"A Prayer"
(by Max Ehrmann)
Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despair
overcome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted me
in the desolation of other times.
May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking over
the silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quiet
river, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early God
to have courage amid the tempests of the changing years.
Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguarded
moments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit.
Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions be
such as shall keep me friendly with myself.
Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of the
stars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself.
Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in my
path.
Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep ever
burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope.
And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not within
sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful for
life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; and
may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.
"A Prayer"
(by Max Ehrmann)
Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despair
overcome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted me
in the desolation of other times.
May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking over
the silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quiet
river, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early God
to have courage amid the tempests of the changing years.
Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguarded
moments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit.
Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions be
such as shall keep me friendly with myself.
Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of the
stars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself.
Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in my
path.
Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep ever
burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope.
And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not within
sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful for
life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; and
may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.
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